*drops pants. My dick just fucking flops onto the floor and bounces away*
once in high school i was walking down the hall at a brisk pace wearing dress pants and boxers and my (home made!! with nylon stockings + condoms + gak) packer just fell out of my leg and rolled down the hall a little ways and thankfully the only other person in that hall at that time was mr. hayes, the weird stoner english/philosophy teacher who rode his bike around the halls sometimes, and he literally just looked at me and said “i HATE when it does that” and walked away
My aesthetic: when you take off your glasses on a highway and all the lights go soft and smudged, a trail of amber behind you like a quiet afterthought
My aesthetic: keeping my own glasses on so I can see the road and not die
Im so sorry youve been trapped in the passenger seat all these years Yellow.
It’s funny to me that I’ve met people named Grace, Faith, Patience and Chastity. It is so funny that Puritan names have survived so long and are still so popular if you take a step back and think about it. She’s getting Starbucks today and accusing a townsperson of witchcraft tomorrow.
AND DESTINY, I’ve met so many Destinys.
Nobody even chooses the COOL Puritan names like Punishment, Humiliation, Refuge, Relief, Obedience. And it’s always girls getting Puritan names nowadays. When am I going to see a baby boy named Submit To His Will.
Thats the name of an ex-fundamentalist kinky gay if ever I heard one
kinky evil former Puritan vampire
i found out i had a quaker cousin from the 1600s named Wrestling. as in, from the torah, Jacob’s wrestling with an angel. She also had a brother named Repentance and one of her sisters was named Fear.
Absolutely losing my mind over Love, Patience, Fear, Wrestling and fucking Jonathan
somehow instead of saying “as a treat”, I’ve started using the phrase “for morale”, as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.
and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.
I’m not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me
ALT
